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Incoherent Rantings

May. 16th, 2007 03:03 am JOURNAL SWITCHING

I have a new journal now - will be getting rid of this one soon. Add dreaded_lion at your earliest convenience.

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Apr. 19th, 2007 11:49 am Yesterday.

Yesterday was crazy. Isla had some crazy hallucinations from new medication. What made that situation even more insane was the fact that it was happening while at our telemarketing job. Telemarketing + hallucinating = AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I normally leave at 6 on Wednesdays, and she came with due to the hallucinations. When I got home it was time for Gorrific Impalement practice, but unlike other practices, this time I was slightly nervous. You see, on the way home from work, Isla informed me that James motherfucking Lee, singer of Origin, left a message on her phone saying he would be at Gorrific Impalement practice. So yeah, I had James Lee in my garage watching my death metal band practice. The connection is that our guitarist just happens to be his best friend. Pretty crazy connection, eh?

What made my head spin was that James Lee (yeah, not Jim, not even just James, but JAMES LEE!!!!) said he was surprised by how good our shit sounded. Then, after much drunkification on his part, he proceeded to tell me he thought I was good. He even said, "Hell, I've toured with worse drummers than you."

Crazy.

Current Mood: excitedexcited
Current Music: Origin - Staring into the Abyss

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Sep. 1st, 2006 08:41 pm G. R. A. V. I. T. Y.

Gravity blasts. I can do friggin gravity blasts. Granted, I'm not the best with them, but I can friggin do gravity blasts! This is the coolest thing since I learned how to do blast beats at all. I can't wait until we have a song at like 220 bpm with some sick ass gravity blasts right in the middle! Abatwaar will be the greatest band of ever!

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Friggin Gravity Blasts!

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Aug. 9th, 2006 11:18 am Death

Death blows. What blows even more is sitting there trying to make a family decision on whether or not to keep my grandfather on life support. The whole time, I was holding my aunt and my grandmother's hands, trying to comfort them in some way, knowing that their pain is only beginning. My dad and his older sister, Renee, along with the older of his younger brothers, Randy, all handled it pretty well, knowing what had to be done. My other aunt, Denise, and other uncle, Gary, along with my grandmother, however, were pretty much incoherent and hysterical when the doctor said that was the decision we had to make. Gary could only communicate that he was overwhelmed by greif at the thought of no one ever again being able to hear my grandfather's stories, of which he had a seemingly infinite supply. Hell, he could tell you the story of what happened five minutes ago and you'd laugh your ass off because he was so funny.

Ah, FUCK. I need to get this out of my head.

Current Mood: numbnumb
Current Music: Johnny Cash

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May. 17th, 2006 10:52 am Talon

4 months. He's been gone for 4 whole fucking months. I feel such an emormous gaping hole inside of me where his presence should be. He was my greatest friend, the first person to truly accept me for who I am. Then we changed the people we were together. We turned each other into better people. More logical people, more analytical, more grounded, more realistic. He turned me into the person I want to be. How can you thank someone for something like that? How do you deal with that kind of loss?


I don't know, but trying is killing me.

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May. 10th, 2006 05:36 pm Money sucks!

So, I've submitted 4 different direct deposit slips to the accounting department where I work within the last month. Because of this, over half of my last paycheck (last Fri) was sent to an account that no longer exists. Apparently, I'm going to see the rest of it tomorrow, which means that I'm not going to be able to take it to the bank until this Fri. Then, it's all out the window to my stupid fucking credit card bill. Of course, I only owe them so much because I bought a drum rack (which I fucking love!), but I shouldn't have to pay it back....

MONEY SUCKS!

Current Music: Immolation - Harnesing Ruin

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Apr. 27th, 2006 03:04 pm Restlessnessness....

Grrrr. I need a new job. Currently, I'm a telemarketer, and that SUCKS. BIG time. There's this possibility of getting a customer service job, but that's in the next town over. The only way I'd be able to get there is if this guy I work with, who I'll call PaganCynic, also goes and gets a job there. another problem with this plan is that we're not even sure if this place is hiring right now. If they are, it starts at $10/hr, $11/hr for the overnight shift, which is what PaganCynic and I would both want to work anyway.

Another idea was to get a part-time job and keep my telemarketing job part-time as well, maybe even increasing my income slightly, but that wouldn't be likely. My biggest problem is finding something that'll give me the income I need. I don't have enough money as it is, so a drop in income would be terrible, for both me and Isla. GRRR.

My last idea was to just change my schedule to something more manageable. I'm currently working four ten hour days, 10-8 Mon, 11-9 T-Th. The reason I took that schedule was to have the weekends off for band practice, but this is killing me. What I wanted to work was 10-8 Mon, 10-6 T-Th and 10-4 Sat. They said they'd be willing to give me 10-8 Mon, 1-9 T-Th and 11-5 Sat, but one of the things I hate about this schedule is how late I get off. Getting off at the same time does nothing for me, especially since I'd be sacrificing my Sat morning-afternoon.

Fucking testicles.

Current Mood: restlessrestless
Current Music: Gorerotted-Only Tools and Corpses

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Apr. 19th, 2006 03:10 pm Bassistness

I think it's worked out. Maybe. I REALLY want Sachem to do it, even if I have to write all the bass parts. Chief and I have always said we wanted Mudvayne-style bass parts, but Sachem's not that fast. Do I care? No. What I think we'll be able to do with him is use the bass parts to make the music heavier. I've actually got the song 20 Second completely worked out so that it'll be bad ass as fuck, but that's only in my head. I haven't gotten to hear my bass parts along with the guitar yet, but I've got a good feeling about it.

Oh no! Gotta go back to work..... Sons of bithces.....

Current Music: KRISIUN!

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Mar. 17th, 2006 03:39 pm Frustration

GODS! SEND ME A BASSIST!

Current Mood: pissed offpissed off
Current Music: Decapitated - Organic Hallucinosis

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Feb. 22nd, 2006 10:29 pm hmmmmm....

So. Life. Things happening. Energy in constant motion. Emotion. Wow, that's the only one I don't understand. Emotion. Why do chemicals splish-splashing around in an organ in my body cause me so much pain? Is it because that's only more chemicals splishing and splashing along with electrical impulses from here to there? Yeah, and that sucks, because there isn't shit I can do about it. Gee, I wonder what could possibly have caused this random introspection of my emotions (which NEVER happens, because emotions suck). TALON DIED. How. The. Fuck. How the fuck does this shit just happen? "You never know what you've got till it's gone." Why can't it come back after you've learned your lesson? Bullshit.
What's the point then, if we're not rewarded for our learning? Heh. Talon's the only one that could ever have straightened me out on something like this. Wow. I can't handle this outpouring of shit welled up. BAND!
Abatwaar is the shit. (!!!) Playing drums is fun. Chieftan is the shit at the guitar, good vocalistists. JailBate can actually sing! Well, no, he can "growl". Motherfucker CAN'T sing. Bitch. But his growls are actually starting to sound good. Well, have been getting better, I guess, they've been sounding good for a while now. And of course grr_islatyx has always had kick ass vocals, so nothing new there. Her range is expanding to lower and lower notes, opening up more possibilities, which is always a good thing. So much to work on!
We've got a whole bunch of stuff in the works, finishing, starting, imagining. Schaden Freude is getting closer and closer to being done. the music is almost 100% complete, we just need to get the "slow pretty" part to work right, but that'll probably have to wait until we've got a bassist to add what's needed. We've got this weird, trippy ass "love song" in the works, but that is a top-secret project, and I'm actually not even allowed to hint at what it's truly all about. Then there's "Slaughterhouse Shepherd", which is going to be a death metal as Abatwaar can handle, even gore metal if we can pull it off. Unlikely as it is, that's the goal. We've got a good start, and I'm trying to keep it as weirdly creative as most gore metal seems to be. Also, we've got an acoustic song coming! FINALLY! I'm so happy we're going to get to exploit Chief's amazing abilities on the acoustic guitar. AND grr_islatyx's clean vocals! Clean vocals in an Abatwaar song! Gotta love new things, eh?
After all that's done, we're going to write music to some lyrics that Talon wrote. I'm sad to not be able to do vocals on it. To sing lyrics written by the greatest person I ever met would be so fulfilling. Who knows. Maybe there'll be some drummer vocals. One can only hope. But, that would be more new things, and that seems to be what we're all about recently.
In addition to all the stuff going on with our music (did I mention we're getting a bassist for sure?), one of grr_islatyx's friends is making us a logo because he's the uber-logo-guy. Or something like that. Either way, he's good. GOOD. I mean it GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD. (Really.)

Wow. I've written a lot. I wonder if anyone will read this? Even bigger question:

Will any one say anything back? (other than my girlfriend, she will out of obligation[or maybe she won't just because I mentioned it{How many different kinds of parentheses are there on a keyboard?}.].)

Current Mood: lonelylonely
Current Music: Decapitated - Spheres of Madness

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